Its been a long time since i posted something, but i was unable to do so...
Today, the 6th of March is my mommy's 63rd birthday...or it would have been...
My beloved Mommy passed away on Saturday the 7th of December at around 7:20pm in Athens, Greece. Mommy was diagnosed with lung cancer in November 2007. Since then she had several very successful treatments that enabled her to live a wonderful life for 5 years. I say 5 years because her cancer reappeared in November 2012 but doctors were hopeful. And so where we...in fact we were all ignorant...Tomorrow it will be 3 months that she is not without us...
When the clock struck 12 on New Years eve of 2013 instead of celebrating i had a very weird feeling and felt my chest heavy. I felt something was wrong but i never imagined that it would be the year i would lose my beloved mommy. In January 2013 we were told the cancer had spread to her brain but still doctors were hopeful and reassured us they had weapons to fight the, very aggressive at that point, cancer. All seemed to be going well, but suddenly in March, a little bit after her 62nd Birthday, things started to not be going so well. They were testing a new medication which unfortunately did not work for my mum and the side effects where horrendous. In May 2013, mom went on a course of chemo treatments, at first she responded well but slowly her body could not take it anymore. The last time i truly had my mommy was in February 2013 when she was still undergoing radiation treatments for her brain cancer. We went out to lunch and she had a salmon baguette sandwich with a salad. One of her all favourite foods! She seemed fragile, her hands where shaking a bit but her brain was still working. That was our last lunch together...After May time my mommy was never the same, even though there was supposedly no tumours in her brain, something had changed, cancer had stolen my mommy!
I am so lucky to have been next to my mommy when she passed away, i was stroking and kissing her beautiful face when she took her final breath and became an Angel.
After her passing, the days come and go in a daze and the pain comes and goes like a huge wave. I fall asleep every night with the image of my mommy before she took her last breath. I go to sleep hoping and wishing she will come visit me. And she does...not as often as i would like to but she does. I never want to wake up i just want to stay with her in my dreams, holding hands, dancing, laughing and smelling her. Mommy mou agapimeni, thank you for everything you have given to me, for everything you have taught me and for making me who i am today. I always feel you beside me in whatever i do. I miss you more than words could ever say. As long as i am alive so are you because you live in me and in my children. You were the best mommy and friend anyone could wish for. I love you forever and ever.
Today, the 6th of March is my mommy's 63rd birthday...or it would have been...
My beloved Mommy passed away on Saturday the 7th of December at around 7:20pm in Athens, Greece. Mommy was diagnosed with lung cancer in November 2007. Since then she had several very successful treatments that enabled her to live a wonderful life for 5 years. I say 5 years because her cancer reappeared in November 2012 but doctors were hopeful. And so where we...in fact we were all ignorant...Tomorrow it will be 3 months that she is not without us...
When the clock struck 12 on New Years eve of 2013 instead of celebrating i had a very weird feeling and felt my chest heavy. I felt something was wrong but i never imagined that it would be the year i would lose my beloved mommy. In January 2013 we were told the cancer had spread to her brain but still doctors were hopeful and reassured us they had weapons to fight the, very aggressive at that point, cancer. All seemed to be going well, but suddenly in March, a little bit after her 62nd Birthday, things started to not be going so well. They were testing a new medication which unfortunately did not work for my mum and the side effects where horrendous. In May 2013, mom went on a course of chemo treatments, at first she responded well but slowly her body could not take it anymore. The last time i truly had my mommy was in February 2013 when she was still undergoing radiation treatments for her brain cancer. We went out to lunch and she had a salmon baguette sandwich with a salad. One of her all favourite foods! She seemed fragile, her hands where shaking a bit but her brain was still working. That was our last lunch together...After May time my mommy was never the same, even though there was supposedly no tumours in her brain, something had changed, cancer had stolen my mommy!
I am so lucky to have been next to my mommy when she passed away, i was stroking and kissing her beautiful face when she took her final breath and became an Angel.
After her passing, the days come and go in a daze and the pain comes and goes like a huge wave. I fall asleep every night with the image of my mommy before she took her last breath. I go to sleep hoping and wishing she will come visit me. And she does...not as often as i would like to but she does. I never want to wake up i just want to stay with her in my dreams, holding hands, dancing, laughing and smelling her. Mommy mou agapimeni, thank you for everything you have given to me, for everything you have taught me and for making me who i am today. I always feel you beside me in whatever i do. I miss you more than words could ever say. As long as i am alive so are you because you live in me and in my children. You were the best mommy and friend anyone could wish for. I love you forever and ever.
I am hoping that soon the day will come that we can remember her as she was always ... so pretty and smiling ... let these last years images go away... they are tormenting ...
ReplyDeleteI don't know for whom I cry, for you, for papaki or for myself. I lost my friend, I lost my love, I lost everything.
ReplyDeleteThe happiest she had ever been were the last 13 years with you... We all have a big piece missing with mommy gone however our hearts have grown bigger, and thats where she is now...love you all
DeleteΒιβιανακι σημερα μου εστειλε ο Δημητρης Καλλεργης το κειμενο που εγραψες για τη μαμα σου.πολυ συγκινητικο και υπεροχο.
ReplyDeleteΕμαθα και τη περιπετεια του μικρου μας Οσκαρ,ευτυχως είναι καλα τωρα.
Θα είμαι στο Λονδινο από 16 εως 21 Απριλιου, μηπως βρεθουμε μετα?
Φιλακια στον Φιλιξ και στα παιδακια και Καλο Πασχα
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